I am back from the easiest but the worst exam of my life. I have a brain-crushing headache. There are two dead mice in my room and one of them is not a device.It’s hell!

Stressed!

Here is a record of what happened today:

I reached my University at 12:30PM. It is a busy afternoon. Students from the morning shift of exam are coming out some with a sad look on the faces (they had exam in the morning shift) and some with Smiley faces that will make The Joker proud (The had exam in the noon shift, like me). The good thing about exams is, one is always confident about getting A-grade. Another is that by the time results come you forget that you were going to get A-grade.  It saves a lot of grief. Most of the students were First Year kids. I overhear a kid complaining about lack of time – “Shit! Man! I could only write 38 pages in 3 hours, I shouldn’t have wasted that 2 minute in water-break”. Sadly most Indian students take exams as a competition to fill pages with words. It doesn’t matter to them that if they are writing the correct answer. We are masters of writing the same sentence in 4 different ways – “Christopher Columbus discovered America… America was discovered by Columbus… Columbus landed in America few hundred years ago… In his travel, Christopher Columbus, who was a traveler at the time, discovered America.” – See the pattern?

Another group is busy comparing the answers they wrote. I hate these type of students. One kid comes out of exam triumphantly, looking more proud than Edmund Hillary ever was after climbing Everest. One of the kids asks – “What did you put in answer of question 6?” and before the first kid could say anything he answers his own question – “It was option C right? Yes it was option C”. The first kid’s face falls, like someone just pushed him from the top of his Everest. He lies- “yes, C”.
I spotted my friends sitting near the staircase reading mugging notes. I don’t know if there are studies to prove it, but human mind is most active between just half hour before exam to last minute of exam. I avoid going near them. The first question Indian students ask when they meet another fellow student – “How much you’ve studied?” and the expected answer is always – “Not everything. Left this unit/topic”. If you answer – “everything” than that will just mean one of two things -> (1.)  You are being sarcastic or (2.) You have the leaked copy of exam-paper. There is also a third archaic meaning – You are a bookworm, but since bookworms are almost extinct in modern times we don’t assume that.
I troll around the parking area, reading number-plates on cars and bikes. Somehow a number plate – RJ – 1337 cracks me up. I see that as a good sign.

1:25PM. Time to enter the exam hall. We enter exam hall as a smug looking professor hands out Answer-sheets. I have another complaint  about exam halls. Why they make the atmosphere so depressing.  So we start filling out answer-sheets with details, Name – filled, Date – filled, Roll No. – filled, Course – ????. Which course’s exam is it? I was just reading it yesterday, I know I was reading something about storage techniques, RAID… then it clicks – It’s Emerging Technologies- II. We have this course ‘Emerging Technologies’ in which we study technologies which were emerging two decades ago.

I get the question paper at exactly 1:30PM. The first question is on Debugging and Debugging tools. I know the answer. I look at my roommate+classmate Vijay to give him a thumbs-up. He is sitting 5 rows behind me. The lucky bastard is surrounded by two girls, both Juniors. I spend few minutes admiring the greenery in class. Back to answer-sheet, Debugging, Yes, I know what debugging is but Debugging tools, I think I read about them someplace. Ok, I am having a head-ache now. Damn! I need water! I start scribbling something on answersheet and fill a page with words which make no sense. Strike it down, my brain says, let’s start another one, leave this for later. I slashed at the page with my pen like Luke Skywalker slashed that unknown clone-fighter with his Light-saber. On the the question number two. The kid who’s sitting next to me is having troubles solving his question, I offer to help him, he gives me this gangsta look. Sigh! Nobody appreciates the free help these days anymore also nobody reads science news. Scientists have discovered Higgs Boson particle. I bet none of the people except me in this room know that. Ha! I am elite this way.

Where was I? Yes Question number 2, It’s about Testing, Types of Testing, Testing Tools and some other stuff. I write down some stuff which I believe is correct answer. I think of writing a tutorial for Selenium. Damn! I wish they’d allow us to use our laptops+internet in exam hall, I could just copy down the selenium tutorial which is already saved as a Draft post on my blog. Well a couple of lines about Selenium and we are done with answer number 2. Damn my toe is itching. I should’ve washed my socks. I’ve been wearing them for past 15 days. They stink but I had sprayed some AXE-deodorant on them just this morning. I wonder if I should take off my shoes. I decide against it.

Question number 3 is about RAID and RAID levels. Isn’t the new Batman prologue is also about raid? A heist actually. It’s 7-8 minute trailer. Just today morning I was searching for it this morning on youtube but alas all of them were taken down. I think how awesome Dark Knight Rises is gonna be. Come to think of it, the invigilator in the room is a Ra’s Al Ghul look alike. Wow! Don’t have my mobile or else I would’ve clicked a pic for posting on Facebook or Tumblr, since Facebook is kinda boring these days. My FB-Wall is always full of notifications about Poll-Questions… Okay, Back to question 3. RAID. I know this, I write an answer, 3-4 pages, I believe it’s sufficient. I also add my experience on setting a 0+1 level RAID in detail.

Question 6 now, this is a big one divided in sub-parts. A bunch of definition and differences between this and that. I finally take a 5 minute water-break. Abhishek (The class-topper and the guy who just got placed in ACCENTURE few weeks back) is now trying to scratching his neck which is funny because he doesn’t have a neck. It’s just  his shoulders and his head on that. I didn’t think it’s even possible to not have a neck before I met him. The guy is cool but I don’t think he has that passion for computer-science. Damn my toe is itching again. I so fuckin wanna cut it now. Ignoring the itch I start scribbling the answers for Question 6 but it’s like some dark force in the universe is working against me. My ball-pen is out of ink (must not make types here- PEN IS).  I look around. Maybe someone has an extra pen but those fuckin-assholes. It’s the final exam of semester and nobody has one extra pen. Is it too much to ask? One extra pen? It’s already 3:45 now. 45 minute left. The kid sitting next to me stands up to leave. LUCKY! I borrow his pen and moves on to Question 7.

Question 7 is about Data backups, Disaster Recovery and Business Continuity. I write a full 5 page encyclopedia entry on this one. I wonder what kind of Disaster recover solutions they employ in Japan. They must lose data like every damn 6 months because of so much earth-quakes. They must keep it in servers located in USA or something. Even their anime-collections. That reminds me that I still need to catch up with One Piece and Naruto manga. I start to draw Naruto on the reverse side of my Answer-sheet. But it turns out like a humanoid-pikachu. I promise myself to catch up with Pokemon- Black and White anime series too. In January I will have some time. Back to writing.

Question 9. It’s the last one about Java, Struts, JSP, EJBs and Test Case Generation. Piece of Cake I think. Man it’s been like ages since I tasted a cake. The last time it was on someone’s birthday last December. An year ago. I need Cake. Black-Forest and maybe some chocolates with that. I remember I used to love chocolates when I was a kid. Now I just eat them when I am alone. A 23 year old guy looks eating a chocolate looks weird. I also used to love collecting action figures. I had a dozen or so G.I.Joes, Half-a-dozen Batmen, A couple of Spidermen, a venom and few I made myself using card-board. Collecting them was fun until I turned 18 then it was just plain weird. Also now I am into gadgets. In fact I’m planning to buy an iPad-2. As I am planning from where to Order and iPad, Flipkart or ebay, the bell rings. 3 hours are over. So soon.

I come out of examination hall and to avoid any questions, I leave without waiting for my friends.

The time was too fast today. Worst Exam EVER!